There are tears in my eyes as she leaves for home.

She's on her way home now, and it was very very hard saying goodbye. We did so many remarkable things in her last couple of months. We went to Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome and put her, the kids, and me in an open cockpit biplane. I swear to god that plane sang to me. The wind through the rigging is all you need to fly that bird. You can tell EVERYTHING--airspeed, pitch, Everything, just by the sound of the wind in the wires. And boy does it want to stay in the air. I may have set a new pilot on her path to the sky. That would be nice.

She made her own hand-blown/pulled art glass flower at Corning Glass Museum. and took a hop in one of the most influential planes in private aviation: The Piper Cub (okay, so I couldn't resist either, and I took a hop. After all, it's my duty as a pilot to fly one at least once). She tried to land her virtual jet on a carrier on the simulator--with no luck (Hey, I still got it! I nailed it on the second try--after they divulged to me that the rudder was not connected!)

I sent her to her prom looking amazing in a red silk shantung corset and mermaid skirt. Spent forever curling her hair! I only had a curling iron! She spent her last days here in a flurry of evenings out with her newfound friends (any of you out there considering being an exchange student, I recommend going for the full year. It took Verena about 4 months to find her circle of friends, so she only had a short time with them). Her father arrived after her graduation and took her out to see the American West for 2 weeks. They stayed with us for this last weekend, and we took them to see the Amish (to see what happens to the language when it comes over in an insular culture) and to see the Smithsonian and some of DC. We ate whoopie pies and corn fritters in Lancaster and grasshopper tacos with Mexican hot chocolate in DC. It was funny, as one of my themes with Verena--my stock answer:"Settled by Puritans" finally sunk in on our Amish visit. She asked why they came here (Why come here to stay German). Well, dear, you guys sorta kicked them out. You thought they were just too weird, so they up and left, like so many other religious splinter groups. I saw by the look in her eyes as she finally "got it" that she understood a bit more about us as Americans now. Yes, settled by Puritans. That's one reason we are the way we are we are. We ran from oppression for the chance to live as we wished. Bullheaded? Yep. That's us. Now you see why. We can't help it. It's why we are here.

I think she even finally understood what I was talking about when I spoke with her about visiting Berlin, and the Berlin Wall. I had said that the whole event must still be evident in Berlin's culture--indeed in all of Germany's culture. She replied that it didn't affect her at all. Hmm. I didn't believe it then, and I don't believe it now. History is like a dysfunctional family. Even when the dysfunction is not carried on by the kids, they still feel the effects of it, and as a result, so do their kids. Patterns of behavior, began as a way to deal with dysfunction, will persist even after the reason for the behavior is removed. It's like an echo. In history, the echo is just broader based. After meeting the Amish, I think she may see things with a more worldly eye. They are a good example of a culture transplanted. Since they keep to themselves, it's easy to see what they brought to this country, and see that connection to their roots. For the rest of us, our traditions are there, but it's harder to easily see where they come from. The easiest example (but harder for to see unless one travels a lot) is our regional accents. The mid-west carries some of it's Norse and Swedish heritage in the way they speak English, even though there are no large influxes of Norse arriving there now, as there are Spanish speakers in Miami. The history is evident in the language, and it's there in the culture too. Of course, travel has that same effect on a person. Once you spend time traveling--not just being a tourist, you are changed forever. It's evident now in Verena, and that's a good thing.

Yesterday I bought a dozen crabs and some Sam Adams and taught them both how to eat real crabs, since they will never eat real crabs anywhere but in Maryland. To my delight, Verena's dad loved them! They both caught on easily--not an easy feat for a European. Verena had already had her first crabs out with friends, so we knew she liked them. Sam Adams fans, well, the beer passes muster. All the varieties we tried got a "pretty good" rating from Verena's dad. High praise indeed, from a German. Really, German beers are best. Yes, I actually drank German beer while visiting Verena's parents in Germany, and loved it.

What an education it has been for me. I have learned so much about my country and learned to love it. The freedoms we have are not always as obvious as we think they are. We pay for them in odd ways. Our educational system does not seem to be on par with the rest of the world, but we have something that at least Germany does not: CHOICE. Verena was dazzled at the choices she had for classes. Art. Music, Forensics, Psychology. She does not have such choices at home. Yes, she can blow any US student out of the water in straight academics: Math, science, foreign language, but she must choose her academic path very early in her career. Artists go to art school, academics go to math or science schools. You choose your path before high school. No one knows what they want until at least their junior year in college. So students in Germany may miss their true calling because they are not exposed to the variety of things our students are exposed to. Even their school theater projects do not compare well to our school theater productions. If they have any at all, it must be fully realized by the students themselves. There is no one there to teach them. I saw the awe in Verena's eyes as she saw wealth of choices our kids have. I saw that she wished she had those opportunities.

We seem to catch up in college. We'd be a much poorer place without MIT, eh? Is it so bad that we are "behind" in high school? We are simply educating our kids in a manner that enriches their lives with exposure to many more things than Germans get. This can only be a good thing, and it feeds the soul of the American child. It may even nurture what makes us unique the world: Our freedom. It's the only way we can make up for being so insulated from the world. We can't just drive for an hour and be in a different country as easily as any part of Europe. That also makes us what we are. I have it on good authority that German tourists are as embarrassing to a German as American tourists are to Americans

I have been given a priceless glimpse into what my future holds with my own two priceless children. All the headaches, the drama, the communication issues. I will be better prepared to help my own kids through what can be an awful time. I owe Verena quite a lot for that information. It's really hard having a teenager in your home--probably harder having one that is not your own--but anything worth doing is worth working for. I will not miss the extra laundry, the defiant nature, or being the taxi, but I will miss Verena. A lot. She is truly worth a price above rubies.